Ain't That Odd -- What is Your Shade of Green?

Today's focus is on a Maine "Ain't That Odd" green perspective.

Maine "Summah" Background

First, this is a true story, or at least the fabrication of one. No names have been changed to protect the innocent or the guilty. Maine has always been a leader in green environmental issues -- but we do it differently then 'them foulks' -- ain't that odd.

People ask people and companies all the time if they are managing themselves and the business in a sustainable manner. They usually mean green sustainable manner not economic.

In Maine there are many people "from away", 'outta staduhs" and tourists. Many are from the cities and large burbs. Most are outdoorsy and "green", at least in their own minds. We have alotta fun and get heavily entertained by these migrating populous, mostly in the "summah." We go from ~1M native or local people to more than ~7M in this 3 month 'summah' season. Ain't that possibly the largest herd migration in the world?

As said in Maine frequently whenever confronted with a perplexing dilemma or situation, Mainuhs cock their head, get that funny smirk and dryly exhale "Ain't that odd" and with an accent that way downeast is hard to understand if your from away.

Ain't That Odd" Green Thinking

It goes like this.... Ain't That Odd .... that............... (and then ask yourself what shade of green is that?)

1. All them SUVs with outta staduh plates drive up to Whole Foods for cranola, oops that is the organic crayons, the food is granola. Funny, you never see many bicycles there though. They wanna be organically cleansed--but in comfort with their kids watching videos in a car. Hey, go home and watch 'em.
2. Maine has the largest per capita number of trucks and 4x4s. Lobstahs, trees, and clams take up alotta room. We work with 'em and generally do not drive to Whole Foods. They are mostly old and not shiny too!
3. We don't get it. They drink water out of plastic bottles. 100's of millions of plastic bottles pile up. They polluted their own living area so they don't drink the water. Then a French company buys a Maine company and ships plastic bottles to all these green folks around the world. That is a lotta plastic being shipped and using a lotta gas. You see the price of gas lately? wow
4. Why do these outta staduhs come up and buy up all the land and homes and then send money to all them greenie groupie organizations to 'preserve' all the land they didn't buy. Don't leave much for us. Now you wonder why the price of lobstah is high. Poor fisherman have to drive from home way out in the country to get to the ocean due to taxes. It is amazing what a guys shore front lobster home morphs into -- just so some other guy has a place on the ocean they use for a couple of weeks a year.
5. Why do they need two homes any way? Decide where they want to live and just live there. Confusing to us.
6. Why do tourists buy all their food neatly packaged in foam, plastic wrap and not paper bages and wax paper? And, why do they protest with 'don't kill the animals or that is human?' We go fishing, grap 'em with a hook (nasty) and through 'em on the grill. We feed the bones to the coons. Those other foulk throw all their stuff don't 'em chutes again.
7. New Yorkers shop for designer and fashion and the latest gadgets and home stuff. If they were green wouldn't they not buy all that stuff? And when they tire of it throw it down those neat little garbage chutes? They lead, Boston, Hartford and Newark follow. Convenient, out of sight out of mind. Do they know where their garbage stuff goes?
8. They use a pot full of make up? Read the labels. They should not put any of that toxic stuff on their face or spraying on their hair. And, whats with all the gel and mousse. It is moose dammit. What if you put a moose on your head it becomes mousse? Wrong. Mousse is french for a whole bunch of mooses. (meesees are a bunch of little kid mooses)
9. Tourists "go outdoors" for a week in Maine and they look like a poster child of at least one, if not all of REI, LLBean, Lands End, Cabela's and Eastern Mountain Sports. And then put all those clothes away for a year, and then come again and buy new clothes. Mainer's are the poster child of Reny's.
10. There ia a rapid huge migration of summah foulk to Freeport on rainy days. It looks like a zen happening. Nature and the outdoors don't stop on rainy days in Maine but you would never know it by the "Freeport Rain Syndrome" (FRS). While the summah may signal the largest herd migration in the world, these's FRS's can be quite large in an off themselves. Almost as big as the whole summah herd.
11. Melting plastic in Freeport is good or green? (Tourist run around buying up so much stuff so fast their credit cards melt. You can always tell one just starting out from the one who has been there for more than an hour by the temperature of their card. Or, the jeans with huge holes in the back pocket from years of the syndrome).
12. You Tube to us -- Isn't that Tom's of Maine, which is now Tom's of Proctor and Gamble? Nope ours is a winnha thingie. No designer tubes from China for us. We take 'em off our trucks.
13. Really..... there is a new disease announced today "global warming anxiety syndrome". People get GWASed rapidly by listening to the news and being overwhelmed with hype. They lose hope from hearing all the doomsday perspective. Hey, get real, there is hope and we will get through this -- but not the hypie news!
14. Isn't that Green? Yup, t'is Bill Green on chanule 6.

• Ain't that odd. He don't look green! Neither are alot of them GWASpie-looking city foulk. But, they are a shade of green!